When quarantine first started, couples who were forced to go into lockdown together were presumably excited about the idea of finally getting that chance to spend more time with one another. But as the days drone on, and with nowhere to go and no one else to see, lockdown fatigue can surely get the best of our relationships. So with the end nowhere near in sight and many more days ahead of being in close proximity with your significant other, how should couples be handling this time with one another? We spoke with Relationship Coach, Celebrity Matchmaker and Online Dating Expert Carmelia Ray who shared the best practices to keep in mind when maintaining a healthy relationship during quarantine.
With everyone currently on lockdown, this is a time that some relationships might be heavily tested. What are some things couples should keep in mind as they quarantine together indefinitely?
I recommend couples discuss establishing healthy boundaries for things such as alone time, work time, socialization with others, and shared couples time
As couples quarantine together, they should keep in mind to ask their partner what they need to find harmony in their shared space. Clear and open communication is important to have. I recommend couples discuss establishing healthy boundaries for things such as alone time, work time, socialization with others, and shared couples time, to avoid resentments and upset. Couples must also focus on how they can empower their partner, versus criticize them. If there's a better way to do something, take initiative and help out instead of calling them out. Constant critique and bickering at home will only add on to the already tense situation. Acts of kindness and expressions of gratitude will always diffuse a situation.
Now that places like restaurants and movie theatres are closed, date nights have become a thing of the past. Or have they? What are some ways that couples can still create date nights from home to keep things exciting?
Creating date nights are super important, especially during quarantine for two reasons. One, you are challenged to get creative and think of ways to keep your partner happy and two, you make intentional time to get away from the day to day routine and use your date night as a way to connect free from distractions.
Here are some ideas to keep date nights at home stimulating and exciting.
Best Home Chef Challenge You can challenge your partner to a "best home cook" contest by daring them to make something from a recipe you both share, or perhaps create a new twist on dishes like Kraft Dinner, Grilled Cheese, or any sandwich. You have to create the rules, give yourselves a time limit and you have to present your dish to one another. To make things more interesting, you can also take photos, send it to your kids or family members and ask them to vote "Who cooked it better?" for a real winner!
Who wore it better? This game is hilarious. You can choose an outfit from your closet and dare your partner to do a fashion show for you! Keep in mind this challenge is meant to be fun. So the men can use accessories, apply makeup or paint their nails for example. The women can draw 5 o'clock shadows on themselves, wear a hat or belts or other men's accessories.
Role-play your favourite movie scene Ever wanted to be "Mr & Mrs. Smith?" Do you have a favourite cheesy scene in a rom-com, or have you and your hubby ever wanted to do a "Shakespeare in the Park" on your balcony or backyard? Now is the perfect time to re-enact your favourite TV, Movie or plays in the comfort of your home. Bonus points for memorizing the lines, making the costumes and maybe even posting it on Social Media or TikTok? This could be a whole evening of fun!
There's been lots of talk that quarantine has changed the sex lives of a lot of couples, and not for the better. What is your take on this and what are some ways couples can spice up their sex lives during the lockdown?
Couples who were already having less sex before COVID need to plan for sex, and make it a priority if they intend to have any. As with all activities and regular life routines, things can feel completely disrupted. As a result, stress is high and intimacy suffers. If you prioritize your sex life, you'll need to create "the mood" for intimacy by complimenting your partner, helping out around the house or asking them if they need anything from you. Your partner might use the excuse that they are "too busy." Consider what you can do to contribute to them in a way that allows them to feel supported. If you take the initiative for example to do a chore that your partner would have normally had to do, this creates more time for them to spend with you.
Also, hanging around at home in your PJ's or sweats 24/7 doesn't help with sexual attraction. If you want your partner to view you sexually, consider spicing up your looks. Change your daywear, and put on something sexy. Get dressed up for your date nights, make the effort so your partner notices something different about you. Focusing on your self-care is sexy. Offering to help out and lessen their worries is sexy. Also, the surprise, slow hug from behind, coupled with. a. kiss on the neck, or impromptu foot or back massage is always a winner! Speak your partner's Love Language.
Carmelia Ray is an internationally acclaimed matchmaker for high achieving men and the quality women they’re searching for. She’s also a renowned TV personality from Mom Vs. Matchmaker, The Real Housewives Of Toronto, and A User’s Guide to Cheating Death (Fall 2018). A frequent media contributor, Carmelia’s advice and expertise have been featured in notable outlets including AskMen, Variety, The Hollywood Reporter, OK! Magazine, Global News, Cupid’s Pulse, The Marilyn Denis Show, CHCH News, Elle, Playback, and countless others.